Please accept my A POLO GY.
Or rather, my apology, as better delivered by, Miss Brenda Lee.
Parkinson’s is certainly a brutal disease. Over the past 17+ years, it has ravaged many aspects of my life which I have detailed in previous posts. Of late though, one of the most troubling has been a growing sense of isolation.
Now, living through a Canadian winter that has been particularly long this year doesn’t help, but you can’t blame the weather.
It seems to me that living with Parkinson’s presents some real conundrums. As my health declines, I find it increasingly harder to get the energy to go out and be active yet I am brutally aware of how important it is to be active. As my fitness level deteriorates, I feel less and less physically strong yet I know how key exercise is to slowing the progression of the disease.
Socially, I am aware of how important it is to be engaged – with family, friends, the Parkinson’s community, and the community at large. Yet I find that the less I am engaged, the harder it is to get re-engaged. When I had a bad fall 2 years ago, my confidence and sense of fragility took me out of my dancing – something that meant so much to me – and I haven’t gone back since. Last year, I had some complications with my duodopa pump that forced me to pull away from swimming and again, I haven’t been able to get back to it.
I have friends that I haven’t seen in years. There are friends I would see on a regular basis that I’ve just not talked to in months. There are friends who live farther away whom I corresponded with regularly that I haven’t written to in months.
For that, I am sorry. So sorry. Please accept my apology. I’ll try to do a better job going forward but know that I’m aware of how important this is. I also hope you’ll appreciate how difficult it is for me. It’s no war but maybe you can reach down into the trench and pull me out with you from time to time!