Tell me what you want -what you really really want

STOP right Now, shazzz999, deviantart

I count myself fortunate to have a good number of friends, family, health care professionals and even neighbours around me that can be called upon to offer support in my day-to-day struggles with PD. Despite this, from time to time, I feel reticent to ask for help. I don’t want to impinge upon anyone or be a burden.

There are also times – particularly at home and with family – when I find myself getting frustrated or preturbed that no one is considering my needs or stepping up to lend a hand (of course, there is always the possibility that my family feels exactly the same way I do – that it is me that isn’t sensitive to their needs. But this is my blog and I’ll cry if I want to!). It could be something as simple as not helping do up a zipper on my coat or taking care of yard work or chores around the house. Don’t they see me struggling with that zipper? Haven’t they noticed the tree debris on the lawn?

Perhaps, since I have always “managed” these parts of my life, there is no sense of ownership to the tasks at hand. Perhaps I have not been as good at delegating or empowering others as I should.  Perhaps the sense of altruism and caring that I’d like to think our family has emparted seems only to apply beyond our front door.  Alternatively, this may be done entirely with the intent of giving me a sense of control, of independence, of ability – to empower me in my present circumstances.

Whatever the case,  I need to be more vocal about how those who are close to me can help out. A tough call to make for one who has been so fiercely independent to date. But it’s also a part of coming to terms with living with PD and the limitations that it sometimes imposes on our lives.





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