You want it darker

fade into darkness, lostknightkg, deviantart

This has been quite a year this 2016.

Looking back, violence seemed to reign supreme. I’ m thinking of the many terrorist attacks in Europe and the Middle East and the stunning loss of lives they wrought. Conflicts raged on in places like Syria and Iraq and we saw the horror of life in cities like Aleppo that led to the Syrian refugee crisis. In Europe, there was Brexit and the possible collapse of the EU. Assaults on our planet escalated environmental protests and drove a chasm between people that seems impossible to bridge.

We also lost some noteable people as the plethora of year-in-review lists will attest. Of particular note for me I would say were Mohamed Ali, David Bowie, Prince to name but a few.

The final two months of the year were even darker times for me (as it was for millions more no doubt). First came the US presidential election, followed by the death of one of my muses, Canadian poet and singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen. Finally, some personal health concerns weighed heavy on me as the year drew to a close.

I don’t want to toss another log on the the political hay storm fires that are burning. I’ve read at least a few dozen articles on the election results that have been much better written than I could ever hope to do. Suffice it to say that I am stunned by the election to such a position of public office of someone who spews such vitriol and hate, seems so racist, xenophobic, misogynistic, homophobic, divisive, provacative, ill-tempered, unethical, exploitive, angry and down-right rude. No matter how strongly one may be against another party or candidate, how in the world can so many support someone who behaves like this? I do get it – lots of people were angry at conventional politics in the US but was no one listening to the things this guy was saying? What he’s been doing?? Sorry – I said I wasn’t going to stoke this fire – and I think I just may have. Let me just say, I am one of those who face this new future with a great deal of fear. These are particularly worrisome times for  vulnerable people – and that must include people with Parkinson’s living in the US. I could be wrong about Trump and for the good of all, I sincerely hope I am.

As for the death of Leonard Cohen, I must say that his writings and music have been both an inspiration and a source of joy throughout much of my adult life. While it wasn’t a total surprise – he seemed more fragile of late and had publicly mused about his impending death in interviews and in his final LP You want it darker– hearing that he had died,  I felt like a great weight had been placed upon me. I felt crushed.

Finally, as if all that doom and gloom weren’t enough, I found out that both myself and one of my daughters will be required to have surgical operations later this month. More weight to carry…

After the Preface

Thank you for sticking with me on this one. Seems like a lot of black clouds have accumulated overhead in this latest blog entry. BUT, this has all been an elaborate preface to explain my relative dearth of blog entries in recent months. To help explain why I haven’t been as active or as inspired to pen additional works.

Simply put, as I have been following all the “doom and gloom” developments noted above, I’ve been feeling that anything I might have to say about living with Parkinson’s pales in comparison.  My experiences, my challenges, my questions and concerns all seem so insignificant or petty in comparison.  How can I write about the pain of my dystonia (curling of toes) when another 47 people are killed trying to flee Aleppo? Or when I read Trump’s new years message to the “losers” who didn’t support him? Or when I consider the void left by the death of another cultural icon?.

A writer friend advised me that while these more “global” concerns may be real, there is still very much a place for the voice of the individual. In fact, the voice of the individual often times tends to be the voice of many others. You reflect back or mirror others experiences in ways that they themselves can appreciate and you also hopefully contribute to a larger discussion of these issues or experiences.

I’m not sure if I’m convinced as yet. Still, a seed has been planted. I’ll let it germinate a bit and we’ll see what grows in the weeks and months ahead. One thing is for certain – I’ll need a little less darkness and a lot more light for this thing to grow!

Blessings for the new year!

All good things







6 thoughts on “You want it darker”

  1. Hi Rob,
    Hoping that 2017 will be a much better year for you. Sorry to hear about the impending surgical procedures later this month for you and I assume Emma. Will say a few prayers that all will go well. Keep writing and staying positive. Remember this year will be a better one.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Rob; A another great posting here Rob and it appears from listening to the various media reports of the last several days numerous people want to wish 2016 good-bye. However you faced it well here in a realistic posting but from a personal perspective. Glad to be a friend of yours since our high school days Rob and glad we all had a great time back than as well! Cheers from Bob Russell in OAKVILLE, Ontario 

    Liked by 1 person

  3. No offense meant Cousin Rob but I think as someone who would have preferred Jill Stein or Bernie Sanders as President that Killary Klinton disqualified herself as a candidate because as Secretary of State she was involved in a number of avoidable wars that caused thousands of avoidable deaths, supported terrorism when it served American establishment purposes, lied under oath, did not hold her own communications secure while at the same time demanding that whistle blowers be punished severely or even droned to death. If she and her cronies in the DNC had not sabotaged Sanders’ campaign and he had won the nomination the Democrats would have beaten Trump and the Republicans. Lest anyone conclude that I have targeted her in a way that I would not target a man in the same situation you should hear what I have to say about Slick Willy Clinton and what he did to Milosevic (who was exonerated but unfortunately only after his death) and Serbia. Both Clintons have a lot to answer for re the overthrow of democracy in Haiti and Honduras. Want one reason to feel better? We are a little less likely to end up in a nuclear war with Russia with Killary in retirement. During her disgusting campaign she blamed Putin and Russia on 600 different occasions–in other words she was blaming Putin every time a tree fell in the forest. She had no proof that Putin was responsible for leaking some things that were true during a campaign filled with lies on both sides but since when is sharing truth not to be tolerated? Let me appropriate and modify a phrase Killary used after participating in the murder of a foreign leader whose nation has now degenerated into a failed state when it used to have the best welfare state in the region. On election day I came, I saw, she died politically and I laughed myself silly.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I hope your new year is better than the last, I can’t imagine how your toes must feel and I’m sorry that you are experiencing that symptom. I’m beginning to see that having DBS is not the end of dealing with Parkinson’s, but we are hoping that it will at least stop the thrashing of his arm. As individuals we can’t effect the activities of the other nations. I’m just so glad it’s not here —. Take care, life goes on.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for writing this Rob, and sticking with the blog, even sporadically. I admire that. I am sad to hear that there will be two surgeries in your family. If nothing else, your blog, and statements like this, “How can I write about the pain of my dystonia (curling of toes) when another 47 people are killed trying to flee Aleppo?” remind me to count blessings and good fortune when it is present.

    Liked by 1 person

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