Macho Man

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It’s a good thing I never wanted to be  a Macho Man. Parkinson’s Disease has assured me that, if I had any such desires, I would be an abysmal failure.

First, my physique, which has never been considered chiselled by any stretch, is now collapsing in on itself. While I have less dyskenisis due to successful duodopa pump therapy, this has resulted in weight gain.  I’m up 25 lbs. from where I’d like to be. It has also left me with a foot long cord protruding from my gut (I understand there is actually about another metre or so of the cord internally). No Charles Atlas bathing suit competitions for this lad.  Joggin’ in the mornings? I don’t think so. Workouts in the health spa watchin’ muscles grow? No, no.

So, physically, you see it is impossible for me to “strut my stuff” with such bravado and machismo. Perhaps more damning though is at an emotional level.

I have always considered myself, as an adult, to be a somewhat more sensitive type of person. Yet, as Parkinson’s has progressed, I find myself to be more than sensitive. Uber sensitive I’d say. I am so easily lead to tears – be it from an old song, a scene from a favourite film, or some television drama. I don’t know why or precisely what triggers it  but, for my family, it’s somewhat predictable. I get these “Oh, yeh, here’s the part where he’s going to cry” looks directed my way and usually they are right. I begin to well up, then tear or weep for a short time, and then I’m fine. I’m not reduced to a blubbering fool (yet) but without a doubt, I do cry.

Now, look closely at the video. You might have to watch it twice but I am pretty sure you’ll find that none of these macho men are crying.

 

Perhaps you don’t recoil at the thought of a man breaking down in tears. Perhaps, I am  just part of a positive evolution of a more modern, sensitive male. Perhaps I am exposing a hitherto disguised foundation in social work (it’s true, I have a Masters in Social Work). Regardless, there is no sense in denying it.  I’m a cry baby.

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5 thoughts on “Macho Man”

  1. Good Morning Cry Baby – I thought I heard someone blubbering across the street! YOU ARE NOT A CRY BABY. Your brain is raw around the edges, as is mine with my MS. I never used to cry either, or at least not so easily. Let;s try being nice to ourselves – Macho Men are often really insecure individuals who strut their stuff to say “Look at me – I’m Da Man”, so that you’re distracted from how many weaknesses they really have.
    Alison

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  2. That’s what has struck the extended family about you, Rob- your sensitive nature- to be celebrated.This is an admirable trait ,as for Macho, didn’t that go out of fashion many decades ago? How can your emotional side affect your family?? Bring on compassion, empathy, concern, all virtues we hope to emulate.all virtues they will need as they proceed through life!!

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  3. Sensitive men(and women too) do cry and that is what makes them special. Having a heart and showing your emotions is what makes you the special person that you are. Keep strong and with the caring family you have all be good. You are a beautiful person inside and out. Glad to call you my friend. I too cry at the oddest things, and no apologies for doing so.

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