Originally published October 1, 2014
Shed Pounds or Your Money Back!!
How many times have you looked in the mirror and thought “I wish I could just lose a few pounds around my waist…a few inches off my thighs…that double chin I seem to be developing”. Do you wish that there was an easy way you could just make it all disappear? Well, I am here to tell you today that there most certainly is an easy way! Thousands of people just like you have already had their wish come true and you can too! For a limited time only, you can get the results you want without all the muss and fuss of dieting or calorie counting like so many other programs require. Just one, simple step and you’re on your way to that waist you so desire…those slender thighs…that chiseled chin! Interested? Ready to sign-up?? It’s really very simple – get PD! Yes, whether it’s through exposure to toxic chemicals in the environment, or some bad chromosome passed down through your family genes, getting PD will set you free from all these weight-loss woes! But wait! That’s not all! If you act now, you will also receive at no additional cost to you, stiffness, rigidity, tremors, cramping, sleep and cognition problems – to name but a few.
But then (and by then I mean at present, this year, NOW) my medications have been working. I rarely have long periods of dyskInetic behaviour. And I have more than a few extra pounds with me. I’ve had to be more conscious of what I am eating and try to be more physically active which, in the long run, are probably good practices. Practises that I need to practise a bit more!For now, I feel bloated, heavy and out of shape. This, when my PD drugs are working. Enough to make one long for the good old days when my PD drugs weren’t working!
As you can probably tell, I’m writing this somewhat tongue-in cheek and I’m not totally sold on the idea that Parkinson’s Disease is a good weight loss program. Though I have, at times, been the unexpected beneficiary of such providence. When I was at my physical worst – when dyskinesia ruled my body for most of the day with my flaying arms and legs in constant motion – I burned off so many calories! I could eat whatever and whenever I wanted! Chocolate bars, chips, ice cream. Midnight snacks. More chocolate bars. Just a few minutes of “shakin-all-over” and it was gone!
Oozing caramel, melting chocolate.
What nice memories…